After the “Blackpool Riots”, I thought I had to rewrite this classic George Formby song to reflect what happened…

I’m leanin’ on a lamp maybe you think I look a skank
Or you may think I’m hanging round to loot a shop
And yes I am a lout, and all I do is wreck and shout
Got no idea, but I’ll throw bricks which hit a cop…

( Chorus):
I’m waiting by a lamppost at the corner of the street
In case a certain little protest comes by,
Oh me, oh my, I hope the little protest comes by.
I don’t know if I’ll rob a Greggs, and maybe even throw some eggs,
But certainly I know that I’ll try,
Oh me, oh my, I hope that little riot comes by.

There’s no other pies I would wait for,
But these ones I’d express all my Hate for,
I’ll even risk me a court date for.
I’ll even nick a vegan roll, even though it burns my soul.
Oh yes I’ll rob a bakery, and tell you it’s all fakery,
And ev’ryone can understand why,
I’m robbing local businesses along my street,
As a pointless little riot goes by.

I’m standing on an island in the middle of the street
Making this old protest all mine,
Oh me, oh my, all the little lefties will whine.
We’ve taken back this roundabout, it’s something we can shout about,
Until we see a wide load truck,
And then we’ll have to run like fu-awaddawadda dadda da de bom bom.

I’ll rob an O2 and a Lush for,
Any excuse I can make for,
Criminal damage and whats more.
You can’t even nick me, ‘cos I’ve got Sov’rin Citizenry.

Oh it’s absolutely criminal, moronic and nonesensical
And anyone can understand why, that:

He’s banged up in a transit at the corner of the street,
All because he believes those lies.