About Me

I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe… Wheelie bins on fire off the A34…
I watched a C-Max burn in the dark near Baldwin’s Gate.
All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain…

I am Tony.

I’m in my mid fifties, nearly 6’3″, nearly 13 1/2 stone, and I have had a much varied career in various fields.

I’ve sold brushes and raffle tickets at the door step, sold books on a market stall, pumped fuel, written a bad book (buy on paper, buy pdf), worked at a university, unsuccessfully worked at a transport company that was too dumb to to realise that online timetables could be a thing, built whole brand identities, driven taxis, and currently work part time doing admin for a taxi company, and part time as a self employed IT consultant and code monkey.

Not a lot of money coming in there.

So obviously I have a lot of time to research things.

Despite me currently being a boring old man, I’ve done some strange stuff in my life.

I’ve raced motorcycles, written computer games, climbed mountains (oh ok, one mountain, and I went on a tram most of the way),  crossed a desert, played bass on TV and worked with some absolutely brilliant people.

I’ve also been mentally unstable, ruined a lot of cars, ruined my life twice, wasted a lot of money, and worked with some absolute shits.

And David Cameron still owes me four cans of Bitter.

For some reason I have a mobygames profile which is unconnected to any of the game I actually wrote,  and I’m cited on Urban Dictionary in the Wanky Shit Demon entry.

Due to be being on the BBC News with former Climax Blues Band bassist Derek Holt, I have a “Theoretical” Bacon Number of 3, or had, until they changed the rules to remove TV appearences.

Derek was on Buzzcocks Ep #20.6, along with Bonnie Tyler, who had done the 56th Annual Academy Awards TV Special with Bacon back in 1984.

Politics wise, I probably Center-Left if anything. I’m not a strong believer in anything apart from the Conservative Party being a bunch of self-serving, money-grabbing arseholes.

I have many qualifications that that I don’t usually mention (as they are worth about a ninth of fuck all, but if you’ve got this far…)

Microsort Certified Prefessional (MCP), Microsort Certified Systems Developer(MCSD), Microsoft Certified System Engineer (MSCE), Linux Certified Professional (LCP). I’m also qualified to deal with special needs children and adults.

Oh yeah, musical instruments…

I own, and can bash out a tune on…

Acoustic Guitar, Electric Guitar, Bass Guitar, Banjo, Ukulele, Bagpipes, Ocarina, various keyboard things..

I speak Welsh, German, French, Russian, and Italian, to a degree. But as that degree is very close to 0.0174533 Radians, it would be best to talk to me in English.

I also do maths jokes.


The Twisted Brain Wrong Of A One Off Man Mental

By continuing to use the site, you agree to the use of cookies. more information

The cookie settings on this website are set to "allow cookies" to give you the best browsing experience possible. If you continue to use this website without changing your cookie settings or you click "Accept" below then you are consenting to this.