Since I was born, back in 1971, there have been 42 Christmas Number Once Singles. Most have been crap.
Looking the list of Wikipedia, we can see some interesting trends.
Throughout the 1970s, odd numbered years gave us good songs:
- 1971 – Benny Hill – Ernie (The Fastest Milkman in the West)
- 1973 – Slade – Merry Christmas Everybody
- 1975 – Queen – Bohemian Rhapsody
- 1977 – Wings – Mull of Kintyre
- 1979 – Pink Floyd – Another Brck in the Wall (Part 2)
Whereas the even numbered years gave us unlistenable dross:
- 1972 – Jimmy Osmond – Long Haired Lover From Liverpool
- 1974 – Mud – Lonely This Christmas
- 1976 – Johnny Mathis – When A Child Is Born (Soleado)
- 1978 – Boney M – Mary’s Boy Child/Oh My Lord
Moving on to the 1980s, only one diamond shines out from the turd bucket of music. The 1981 classic “Don’t You Want Me Baby” by The Human League, which, lest ye forget, had a video featuring a Preston registered Rover SD1 (which allegedly once belonged to my sister’s neighbour).
The 1990s fare little better, with only the re-release of “Bohemian Rhapsody” (double A-sided with the excellent “These Are They Days Of Our Lives”) soaring high above a sea of arse-gravy. Interestingly (or maybe not), this was the last single I ever bought on vinyl.
Which brings us sadly on to the 21st Century, which has just produced shitbomb after shitbomb after shitbomb.