Here is a list of every mobile phone I’ve had since that that horrible day that I walked into Tern Hill Cellular Sales with too much money. Sometimes I’ve got the order wrong, because I’ve had a drink since then.
Motorola Personal Phone
Yes it really was called that. It was on Cellnet on the old ETACS analogue system. I actually had two of them, as the first had to be replaced withing a week after it started emitting smoke. The number was hard coded into the phone, which meant that a new phone had a new number.
It had no screen, so I had a list of who’s numbers were stored in the memory written on a disk label stuck on the back. There was no key lock, and calls cost 30p/50p per minute, so pocket dialling was an expensive mistake to make.
This time on Orange. A bit of an improvement, having a screen and actually using a SIM card. I probably had about four of these, as I kept mine for a long time and bought others from friends as they upgraded – just so I had spare batteries.
Again on Orange, I got this one as part of a free upgrade. Finally something that could handle text messages. Not a bad phone for it’s time. I think I probably had for about a year.
The phone that EVERYONE had, and I had about 6 over the years. All of them were on BT Cellnet. Somewhere I’ve still got a box of spare clip-on cases, some flashing LED keypads and the special Nokia Toolkit for repairing the on the rare occasion that they broke. Why six of them? People would throw them away, and I’d harvest them for the batteries.
An interesting side note on this phone is that with the right cable and a bit of software you could send text messages with bogus numbers.
Apparently terrorists used them as bomb-triggers too (not mine!), and The Sun considered a 3310 the most dangerous phone ever made. Not all of them, just one particular phone which seemed to show up in every mobile based story (probably because their picture editor was a dickhead).
The first phone I had that handled WAP. As I got it while I was ignoring computers, this phone was my only access to t’internet for ages. I seem to remember that it got broken falling out of the car charger, when the charging socket fell out.
I’m not even sure why I had one of these, considering that I still had some working 3310s left. Or why I had one with a clip-on Stoke City case.
Finally a camera phone! I won this one from some rubbish lads mag for suggesting that all the Big Brother contestants should be messily culled. I stopped using it for calls after the microphone broke, but with the correct set of cables, I used this phone to connect to t’internet with my new laptop. It was all downhill from there…
Another one that I’ve no idea why I bought. Maybe it just looked shiny.
It was a monstrous phone. The picture doesn’t really do it justice. I was like carrying a TV remote about. Still, the camera was ok and it did mobile internet and stuff. I still used the V600 for internet on my laptop.
Another massive phone. This one used the same connectors as the V600, meaning that I could use the same phone for everything.
Unknown WinCE Clamshell Phone
I have no idea what it was, apart from rubbish. It was locked to O2, but had real problems with data transfer. And ActiveSync wouldn’t work.
Sony Ericsson K750i
Bought this one off a mate, and instantly realised why he was selling it. The camera lens was badly damaged and it had a habit of rebooting every hour or so. I took great pleasure in smashing it to bits.
Some Samsung Flip Thing
I’m not sure what it was, but it looked like the one in the picture, didn’t do anything apart from calls, and only got used for work (until the SIM card got cancelled by Virgin for no reason).
Amoi WP-S1 Skypephone
I’ve already waffled about it here, so I’ll not repeat myself. It still works and is currently acting as my alarm clock.
Sony Ericsson Walkphone W595
Not really a bad phone. I never used the music player on it though. I expired in a freak roller coaster accident in Blackpool (ok, it fell out of my pocket on the Mad Mouse).
Apple iPhone 3GS
A steaming pile of horse-shit that shut itself down after a month, and shortly after that decided to leak acid all over my desk.
A temporary phone bought while the iPhone problem was being fixed (by eventually chucking the worthless piece of donkey-vomit in the bin). I waffled about it here.
Samsung Galaxy Europa
As described here. It is the phone I’m still using after two years, despite its many many flaws.
Currently I’ve got the Amoy Noodle Skypephone and the Samsung Europa. The girlfriend has the E1200 because she doesn’t like complicated phones, and its a happy sounding little thing just like her. I, by contrast, am a bloated waste of space (see Samsung Europa).
Most of the other phones survived in a box until I moved house earlier in the year. I threw them all away as the combined scrap value was less that a fiver. Don’t believe those adverts on the telly asking for your old phones.
I’m looking a getting a new phone very soon, and already have a plan for the Europa. Strangely it doen’t involve a very large hammer.
(Most of the pics on this page aren’t mine. And I’m too lazy to credit the sites they come from.)