Who are you?
Anthony John Blews. AKA Tony Blews. I would have thought that was obvious.

What are you?
A late-forties, overly tall, overweight, white english male with a dodgy heart, COPD, IBS, IBD and probably much much more.

Do you have a massive bulbous head?

What do you do?
I’m what I laughable like to call a “transport co-ordinator”. That barely pays the bills. I also occasionally program stuff for people, torture musical instruments, and play with trains.

That really is a bit sad.
That isn’t a question, bollocko!
I also collect simulations and emulations of very old computer systems, which I run on my server rack.

That is even sadder!
Oh it does get better. For some reason I’ve been credited as a Games Designer and have a MobyGames profile, (and an entry on the Crap Game Finder). I also did some back-end wiki-scraping work on an E4 game project with Rob Manuel of B3TA fame. Sadly his laptop exploded and all traces of that are now lost. Even E4 expunged it from their site.

That’s a bit better.
A brief interest in “Politics” (but mainly drinking) got me involved first with the Official Monster Raving Loony Party‘s bid for the Stafford seat in 1997 (during which I had a few drinkies with a certain David Cameron), then the Rock ‘n’ Roll Loony Party‘s bid in 2001 (which saw me appear playing – ok, miming – bass guitar on the TV news alongside Climax Blues Band member Derek Holt. Thus earning myself a Theoretical Bacon Number of 3 – if TV appearances are taken into account).

I carry both membership cards to this day.

And I bet you got that David Cameron story into Popbitch, didn’t you?
Well, actually… (PB 911)

>> More celebrity debts <<
Don't get done, get Popbitch
Another week, another case filed to the Popbitch Collection Agency against another famous scrounger.

During the vote count at the Stafford Riverside Centre in the '97 election, the unsuccessful Conservative candidate and his new wife spent a large portion of the evening hanging around with representatives from the Monster Raving Loony Party - continually cadging their fags and cans of bitter.

The Loonies were generous enough, but their hospitality only stretched so far. When they asked him if he wouldn't mind chipping in, the candidate (displaying a shocking lack of local constituency knowledge) said he didn't know how to buy any cigarettes that late at night. So he palmed one of them a tenner and sent them off to track him some down.

While that covered the fags, he didn't cough up for any of his beer. So if David Cameron would like to hand over some cash for his cans, it might go some way to scrubbing at least one black mark from his name.

Can you come up with something really good?
I’m mentioned in an Urban Dictionary entry.

Eh? You what?
Oh yes. The Wanky Shit Demon. It stems from a conversation with Joel Veitch back in the long-long ago, the before time, back when he was just an idiot learning Flash and I was a bored University employee doing my best not to beat students to death. I’m not bitter or anything, but at least the bugger could have given me an “Executive Producer” credit on his WSD videos.

Anything else?
Well… How about setting up and managing one of the first University web-servers in the UK, nearly getting sacked for running one of the first commerical websites in the UK on a University machine, creating a Web to SMS gateway program that became so heavily used that Orange demanded I shut it down, trying to introduce mobile phone access (using WAP) to bus timetables (in about 2000) and being told it would never have a use.

Dull, got anything interesting?
Well, back when WAP was the best mobile technology, I proposed delivering bus timetable to mobile phones. I was shot down by the management, and told to concentrate on producing timetables in PostScript (not even PDF). It is nice, many years later, to see that I was right, and the company (and it’s multi-national parent both went spectacularly bankrupt).

Addendum: My Blackpool Heritage Tram Times App that I wrote in about 12 hours while pissed is still quite popular.

Boring… What else then?
Well, this photo was linked to on the TV Tropes page for Huge Guy, Tiny Girl briefly.

You are a freak!
No, I’m normal sized, and you lot are Hobbits!

A lot of moaning old shite